up up and away

There are times in my life where songs can describe what I'm feeling a lot better than I can. Someone else found a better way to say it. So I'm sorry about all the lyric-y posts. I'm going to try to revert back to my old ways & be a little more original in my expression.


I've had a weird month. Certain things that happened in my personal life really shook my self-confidence to the bone. Not a first for me, but definitely the most serious occurrence of its type in my short lifetime. One of the darkest times I've experienced so far. I hate to term myself dark and twisty, but that's pretty much what it was. A dark and twisty time.

Thanks to a few special people, I got through it though, and things are looking up.

I think this break will afford me a lot of space and time to get better. I have people back at school who I know can support me. Being home, though, will definitely be nice, especially seeing all of those amazing people who I haven't seen in so long. I've been thinking a lot about the people who I really do appreciate in my life, and the fact that I don't get to spend as much time with them as I'd like, so acting on that will be nice, healing, and healthy. Not to mention there's the physical getting away from everything in combination with that.

I've come to realize that as a person, I'm not the most accessible. I have a pretty oddball sense of humor. I'm also pretty mellow. A lot of people cast me as stand-offish when I first meet them. I guess I'm just not the easiest person to get to know--I don't exactly wear my heart on my sleeve and there are a lot of things I won't really talk about unless I'm asked.

So I think that's going to be my resolution for this new year. Be more accessible. I want school to feel like home. I have a few really close friends, of course, and they are amazing, but they're also out living their lives. The rest are basically acquaintances. I want to pull some of those acquaintances into the friend circle. I feel like somehow I got stuck when I got to school. I'm going to try and find my corner, my niche. Evolutionary biology style, squeezing into that little space that's left for me, with a weird shaped beak with all my buddies who are eating the same kind of bug.

That was weird. But you get the idea, right?

I love the people I already have, but I also love getting to know people better. So I'm gonna try to do a little more of that. :)