-----Email Message-----
I bought an extra ticket to a concert with the hope of finding someone
to go with. I found her. It was our first date. Exactly one year later
we got engaged.
It's cloudy and gray. This weather always makes me want to cuddle.
I could launch into a talk about relationships, but I won't. I don't really have my thoughts sorted out enough in that arena to have a coherent dissertation on it.
What I can talk about is how I have been, which is good. I haven't been writing much, again, but that is actually from a lack of non-specific things to talk about. I could talk about certain people and happenings in my life, but I promised myself that this blog would be theoretical, hypothetical, and non-people-specific. Hence I haven't had too much to say.
After all, you don't have big philosophical revelations every day, now do you?
-----Email Message-----
I know it's a typo, but I really love the idea of buying a heroine on Venice Beach.
I've still got sand in my shoes, but I've almost gotten used to it, and it's slowly seeping out the cracks. Something I've been wondering about is why I got so hurt this last time around. Maybe it was the drawn-out nature of things, maybe it was something to do with me, maybe it was the fact that the person in question didn't even realize how much they hurt me. Either way, it took me by surprise, or maybe it didn't and that's why it was so bad.
"It hurts less if you don't see it coming."
Anyways, I am happily moved on and rebuilding. Accessibility is going well, as are the other resolutions, and I am feeling good about a lot of things.
-----Email Message-----
I should have been a better daughter. And a better sister. But maybe it's not too late?
I should have been a better daughter. And a better sister. But maybe it's not too late?
My parents have always been at the root of a lot of my personal insecurities. Without their drivel I would be a lot more at peace with myself, and, frankly, a lot more confident. They really do take me down several notches. It's quite terrible, really, and I tend to get pretty ferocious defending my honor and explaining that they are really destroying my confidence.
Over the years, however, I have gotten much more impervious to them. I recognize that it is good to have that questioning force in your life, the one that makes you doubt yourself just a little so that you can evaluate your decisions at that time instead of looking back down the road and realizing that you really fucked up. I've gotten a lot better at sorting through the bullshit, taking what I can from it, and not letting the rest get to me and get me down.
It may be terrible, but being away from their destructive force has been really good for me. I am more confident in myself than I have ever been.
The past two years have strengthened me in so many ways, and I am thankful for that.
In the end, despite some tribulations, I am happy, healthy, and hopeful.
I hope that serves relatively well as a general update on my life. I'll try to be more present in the future.
Love. <3
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