we're doing the best with what we've got.

For me, at least, when it comes to my personal life, it is very difficult for me to separate myself from situations. I find it really hard to be objective. When it comes to things outside of my fuzzy edged bubble, I am a relatively rational being. When it comes to things that concern me, I am a highly emotional puddle of sticky feelings. I suffer from a condition where I can give perfectly good advice to others, but I can never give advice to myself. I guess it's always easy to see things straight from the outside.

Which is why I like to travel. By getting physically away from things, somehow, it helps me think, clear my head. I have sorted a lot of things out when I have traveled, and if I stay in one place for too long, I get a little crazy. It's almost become a necessity to have that vacation. It's not running away from my problems, per se--more of a quick step outside them to re-evaluate. Like a quick time out to get my scrambled brains into some sort of order. Life doesn't have a rewind button, but it can have a pause button.















I feel like something's missing. I'm missing something I had before. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's my sense of direction in life, maybe it's the fact that I haven't been taking pictures, maybe it's my sense that things are changing, but something is not sitting well with me right now.

I need a pause. I need a minute. The problem with life's pause button is that it comes and goes as it pleases. Life isn't slowing down for me, and it slows for no one. On occasion it is merciful, it gives you space to breathe for a minute, but it comes charging back at you all too soon. Life is like boxing, round after round. We deal with the beating because it teaches us something. We get knocked down, time and time again, but we get back up and come back out swinging. Perhaps we're all a little masochistic.

"Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop."