I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world

Every time I post on Sunday I'm going to use secrets as my pictures. Just a heads up.



I got this idea from...somewhere, I don't remember, but today I wrote a letter to myself. I'm planning on stashing it (or saving it on a disk?) somewhere for a later date, just so I can see how I have changed. Writing it made me realize a lot of things.

One, that I assume that my future self will be a lot more composed, a lot more self-assured, and a lot wiser. Which may be true. But it makes me wonder if I really will have it all together, and if I'd even want to. As much as I hate the big question mark of life, there's something thrilling about that fear of the unknown. It's scary, but you dive in at the deep end anyway.

Two, that thinking about my future self got me thinking about a lot of things. About living in different cities, and making new sets of friends. I've done it countless times given the amount that I've moved, but I still get butterflies thinking about it. About meeting someone I think I could marry and spend the rest of my life with. About having a career, whether my hobbies will change. If I'll ever get to the point where I'm bored with my life, bored with the making bologna sandwiches, writing my childrens' names on paper bags and bored with making love to someone I used to be crazy about.


Three, that this seems far away, but it's not. What scares me half to death isn't the unknown, but how soon that unknown is going to be known.


I think we tend to assume that people are similar to us. It just makes sense. Our natures are the ones we know best, so we tend to project that onto other people. We assume that we must at least have something in common.

My point is, (and this has frequently been my point before) that we can never know. We can never know the truth about people, particularly because they are always changing. I'm writing my research paper on the foundational assumption that we assume, and that people have this image of us that may not always be true to who we are.

In the words of one of the greatest sources of wisdom in my life, Ani:

“It seems that different people have an idea of what I am, and what I should be. And then there's me.”


So this is just a reminder, personal and otherwise. You can put labels on people, but make sure they're the peel-offable, re-stickable kind.