people talk about my image like I come in two dimensions

What is with all of the unnaturally beautiful waiters around here? Seriously. It's like it's a hiring requirement. Not that it's a bad thing. Discrimination in the workplace takes a positive turn?

Today is an absolutely beautiful day.

Yesterday, however, the weather was not so forgiving. It was one of those sleepy rainy days where you spend most of your day reading...and sleeping. And that is exactly what I did. I think part of my lethargy might have been due to Saturday's epic pilgrimage. I managed to drag myself out of bed, however, to go to lunch at a lovely homey restaurant with fantastic mushroom soup and some kind of breaded cutlet of meat with potatoes and sauerkraut. It was Poland's version of comfort food, perfect for a rainy day, and my stomach was singing praises after that one.

I swear, food is my undoing. Once my metabolism slows I'll have to replace my car with a crane. Or maybe this is a sign that my ultimate calling is food critique.


I also made it to my uncle's house for some tea, cookies, and old photo album browsing, which was probably one of my favorite things I've seen here so far. It's one thing to go to the Warsaw Uprising Museum and see the displays in the glass cases, and it's another thing entirely to hold a photo of the city burning in your hands, taken through the lens of a camera of someone who is sitting right across from you, stirring honey into her tea and airily explaining what it was like to see everything you own burnt to the ground, left with nothing but ashes at the end of it all.

I have decided that I am running the LA Marathon come next May. Why the fuck, you ask? People decide to run marathons for different reasons. Mine are fairly simple: I love running (well, really, it's a love hate thing, and hard to explain), and apart from the obvious lifestyle benefits, I want to prove to myself that I can...and I eventually want to run the Boston Marathon.

Really, you can blame Elizabeth Chait for talking me into it with all of her raving about it. And if I want to eventually get to Boston, I have to qualify. I probably won't the first time around, but this is the first step to that eventual goal.

Not to mention I'm going to be able to eat without boundaries. (Once again, back to the food.)

Many years ago, I used to strive for perfection. When I could identify something that I saw as a flaw with myself, I tried to fix it. I have had ample time to think about this; there's nothing like time away from home to help you confront your personal shortcomings. This is going to be controversial, but maybe that's what they're supposed to be. I'm not saying that this is the end of the change line, by any means. But when recently confronted about something by a friend, I realized that it was about something that I didn't want to change. It's just kind of the way I am. It may not be desireable in some circumstances, but it's the way I see things and the way I work. It could use a little improvement, but I can't just turn myself upside down. The verbal acceptance of imperfection was coming on, but it startled me.

By defining ourselves, do we limit ourselves? It's like putting yourself into two dimensions. I have faith in peoples' abilities to surprise, and I try not to put people in boxes. But who is to say that the rest of the world does the same?

Whether I feel I am ready to define myself, or should, is another can of worms in itself.

But I digress: I intend to finish early today. I plan on making it to Nowy Swiat for coffee on the terrace of my favorite cafe, accompanied by my book, to catch a healthy dose of the buttery sunshine. :)